Sunday, October 18, 2009
i typed so much. but i dun have the balls to post it. Being numb right now would really really help me. So much so i want not to feel anymore. And i hate myself so much for clinging on to that small glimmer of hope that perhaps someone would brighten my night. i'm not emotional just perhaps wanting just to feel a little special on a night like this.flickr
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Sometimes i wished things could be different. The burden is way too much to carry and its really frustrating. Its like you know the feeling of being real but yet you're mistaken and there's nothing you can do about it but swollow the pain. Trying to explain something to an adult is pointless. It'll only make things worst because they think we are disrespectful, immature and childish. Am i any less of an adult i ask myself? Yes, i may not have the life experiences that they do but does that have to be a victory statement to cut us off. Let alone our feelings? Must something so simple and decent be taken into something so complicating and harmful. I'm not wanting to go against anyone but i dislike how they adults just jump into quick conclusion and even our explaination wun matter because in their minds they think we are always falling and going in the wrong direction and blah blah blah. Its tiring me out completely. Do they really understand how we feel inside. The sacrifices we make even if it is tiring and when it hurts the most we are still there.They are always worrying about this and that which to me its totally trival. I'm not being irresponsible but i personally feel there are better things in life to look at instead of pondering and being stressful about money, work and your stupid marriage. If it didnt work out for you, den whose fault was it?You both often tell me i have a good life and what not. Good life in terms of monentary you say? Well, i say you both gave me hell emotionally. I dont show it nor do i even want to think about it. Why? its cuz i'm too damn numb about it.
Seriously, dont question my sincerity and my intergrity.
What i do is always from my heart and perhaps God only knows. maybe just maybe thats the best part about it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Urgh. the pain is too much to bear. I need a freaking pain killer.Monday, September 14, 2009
My knee hurts so bad today i wished someone would carry me home.Booked my tp today.
Had a malfunctioned eye til i threw one side of my lens away. So half the time i'm one eye blind. Damn eye still itches.
I was in the bus today with a wierdo. No one dared to sit next to him. He kept scolding the bus driver for being really slow. Even at the traffic light he would scream at him as to why he didnt beat the traffic. It was quite intense. These people, should really go for anger management.
i feel empty.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I slept for 3 hrs and i had to go for a driving lesson. Surprising i didnt crash. Alright. Time to snooze again.Monday, September 07, 2009
Physiotherapy was so long today, my knee never felt so pampered. Its a good feeling to have someone care for my ever irritating problem. So much so til i became a little worried that i may have a huge problem. All the medical terms kinda scare me a little and it seems the pain wouldnt go away anytime soon. ):On the way back i was observing this very obsessive teenage girl. She kept dapping her nose like it was about to fall off. I was wondering why at first til i overheard her say to her friend that the pimple on her nose is bothering her. I got a little annoyed as the dapping was a little extreme and den all of a SUDDEN, she started crying! For some reason i believe its becuz of the pimple. Obviously this person hasnt had a pimple before. Well, welcome to puberty! HAHAHAHA!
I phuture-ed my way into zouk the other night. Great music at phuture but zouk was quite of a let down. No body had the balls to dance at Dj B's music. I bet his name is bobby or something. Given by his stage name, i bet he didnt have anything else to call himself. For some reason i went home feeling empty inside. Its been quite awhile and the feeling's quite surreal. Woke up numb-ed the next afternoon.
And why do mud's wear their caps so high up on their heads. U think very cool ah? Please luh. You wear your underpants on your ankles meh?
I realise the first thing you notice about a person is their shoes.
I'm still feeling quite numb and reading the book dateable really doesnt help. I'm almost done with the book and its the first day i'm reading it. Oh. 7 secrets of inspired leaders (another book i borrowed) is the most sleepy-iest book ever. After the first 5 pages, i'm totally not motivated to continue. I dun recommend.
Being with you gives me that way.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
The fastest weekend ever. I wasted my whole day sleeping today after soccer at some strange void deck at toa payoh in the morning. Its pretty rare for me to wake in the morning on a very beautiful rainy SUNDAY morning. I dunno what got into me today. I probably needed a stress reliever.B.p.m on a saturday night totally made my boogy. Was suppose to be at esplanade to catch my friend play at baybeats but procrastination just got in the way. By the time i got there it had already ended. Urgh. Went to marina pier for some fresh air. Its quite an awesome place if u ask me.
Another long dreadful week. The only high point, i'm having a half day off on thursday. And on friday night i'll be @ homeclub.
Time to pack my bag and head on outta here. Catch ya later.